I get knocked down.

I'M NOT GETTING UP AGAIN. I GIVE UP.

ARGH!

It's times like these all you want is junk food. And cheap alcohol. And you nearest dearest.

And it's times like this where your emotions get so on top of you that the slightest STUPIDEST things remind you of people.

And this isn't heartbreak. It's just pride.
Take off this make up.
Make some food.
Right as rain. But since when has rain been right?
Rain's only good when you're happy. So maybe I need to be happier.

Bring me happiness. In a jar. I'll keep it in the fridge. And spread it on toast when I'm feeling down. Have a slice with some tea.

And then sleep. For a bit. Wake up. Feel good. If I can pull myself out of bed.

Not a miserable thing that. Having to pull myself out of bed. In fact I just like sleeping. It's pure laziness that.

I miss that I can't even go to the pub with anyone and rant this shit out. The handful of people I felt I could ask don't even bother to text back or have to have things their way.

I CAN'T BE BOTHERED WITH YOU. I know I should. And I've tried. But your true colours are ugly. Yes I've seen them. With your dumping me for some guy who's CLEARLY not interested. Or your difficulty in walking 10 mins for me. You guys look after number one. Like mummy and daddy told you to.

Thing is. You can't all be selfish bastards and expect much back from the world. The world will tell you to fuck off.. Just like you did two minutes ago. And about a half an hour before that. I could go on...

So here I am. Off for some pot noodle and House. After I rid myself of this mascara-tear stained face.