About Me

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LDN, United Kingdom
I am Shaz. It's hard work. But someone's gotta do it. I am a part time freak and full time retard. I also do some casual work as a skank and I volunteer as your mother. NICE TO MEET YOU! Welcome to the biggest rant factory in the history of the internet. I've got more apathy than the entire emo population of the world combined. Only kidding. I'm real nice

Wednesday, 23 June 2010

I want to ride my bicycle.....

I finally thought I understood Freddy Mercury. But alas. I just found more burning passionate hate. I'm still not sure if hate brings people together or not. I'm not sure if love does this either but I'm pretty sure hate brings people together more than love.

What do I hate? Well. It's more my understanding of a heirachy of modes of transport really. You know how motorists hatehateHATE cyclists. Well guess what I as a cyclist have discovered. I hate buggies. And after being a passenger of cars for the best part of 20 years now I don't think ANYONE likes them. I can't say I hate the children inside the pushchairs so much. But I can say loud and proud I hate their mothers. There's a specific type that I hate. To say I hate them all would be unjust. It's these stupid women - and I say women because not yet have I seen ONE MAN do this - who push their buggy. WITH CHILD INSIDE, into the middle of a busy road or at a crossing. What you think I'm gonna stop because you throw your child in front of me? NO. I can't. These poor babies probably don't even realise they're being put at risk just so some retard can cross the road saving them what? 15 seconds?

I say this ranty cyclist crap as if I'm an accomplished one. I am if it means riding all the way from my house to just past East Ham station, no causaulties and one collision with a parked car.

But this is what I want.

£100. eBay.

A bike. So I can get skinny. And be popular. Sorry. TV made me say that.

Monday, 14 June 2010

So online shopping is just like all other things in this world. High expectations WILL result in disappointment. I'm all wound up right? All I want is a pair of red patent heels. Why? I don't even wear heels that often. This is purely to make myself feel better. I'd rather have a fag. But I won't. See when you have a fag, you don't SEE the damage you're doing to yourself. However. A shopping spree always comes back to haunt you in the form of the dreaded bank statement.
I am so sick complaining about this. But sorry. I have to. You know there are a lot of small people in the world. In a way I'm one of them. I can't help it sometimes. It just comes out. But not in a hey-let's-rock-the-table-full-of-someone's-notoriously-intricate-dominos. By this I mean people who are bitchy to someone with the knowledge that the person they are talking about may find out. Maybe they do this intentionally. I wouldn't know. I don't do it.
Like my mother's friends. I never thought it'd be this way round. "Oh I don't like you hanging around with those people. They're a bad influence." Surely mother dearest should be saying this kind of thing to me. Only in theory people. My friends are the finest society has to offer. Most of the time anyway. But yeah. Her friends seemingly HATE ME. Now I know hate is a strong word. But I can only think of this word to describe the way things are simply because it is so damn childish. You gotta understand, there's a minimum of 25 to 30 years age difference between this lot and myself. But this shit is crazy. It's like being at school. But worse. Because when you're at school you keep thinking to yourself "One day I'll be free of these shit heads and never again will I have to endure such bullshit in my day to day life."
Then BAM. Some fucker manages to bring it all flooding back. The back biting. The bitchiness. The twat-face comments that don't even make much sense.
Worst of all of this isn't even the stuff they say to me. Most of the time it's a pretty impressive compliment. "Why did your daughter wear that skirt? Showing off her bum like that... Pssssht." ACTUALLY. I don't have much of an arse. So I'm guessing thanks are in order. BITCH.






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