No good deed goes unpunished.

Way ridiculous. This thing. It's happened before. What is it? Falling out with friends. Well sometimes it's "falling out" when there's animosity. Other than that it's "drifting apart". Nonetheless it keeps happening.

In secondary school. It was my best friend. She got with a guy. Who I liked. But anyway. She started going out with him. There were misunderstandings and lies and her believing him over me. Whatever. It's done now. But there was a guy.

At sixth form. Well there were a lot of people who didn't keep in touch. Some because it is quite simply a case of people being people. Not everyone gets on. Then there are some people who just get on your tits so much that it's a joke that you have to even spend time with them at all. I mean there is one person who I sometimes bump into and all I get to hear is "Oh I'm so fabulous, my life is amazing, I go out with all my friends all the time and wok at this place yeah but anyway I met this guy and got so drunk and I think he likes me but I don't remember his name... but anyway. I'm not pregnant so THAT'S something."

Also that roughly translates to "We're all going through the same crappy motions in life I just want mine to sound better so you hate yourself a little"

And I do. Because then I start thinking about all the good things I have going for me. I shouldn't but hey when someone's trying to make me look like a schmuck you gotta big yourself up.

Anyways. In the last few years I've ended up really hating people. I wanna think its not my fault but it is. The reason it is is that I don't avoid becoming a victim. All this time I've said to myself, "It's not fair" and then cried, hated myself for bit and then bounced back. Cause I'm bouncy like that. And although I am bouncy I still have feelings. But I want to know why I haven't learned to stay away from these leeches, the bottom feeders of society. With their disgustingly lame ways of conducting themselves, their sheer desperation for attention. In any form. Which is quite possibly the worst of all because you get to see them put themselves up for social flaggelation all for just a little more drama or attention from the guy or girl who clearly couldn't give a flying FUCK about them.
I need to stay away from people. I hate uni for that. Because in reality I love being around people and meeting new people. But I hate all the politics that ensue.

I can't wait for all this shite to be over

What's in a gift?

I've gotta admit. I used to think I was once the queen of presenting buying. I'm losing my touch now. But I guess that was inevitable what with growing up, working, essaying and all the other crap that steals time from my all time favourite thing to do... SHOPPING. If you are interested the things that come in second and third respectively are eating and acting like a bigger dickhead than Kanye West. I've been fortunate enough to get some really lovely gifts in the past. Including - a guitar - from a friend who turned up to a dance show and had this MASSIVE box with him. That shit craaaaaaay. But good cray. Obv. - a tv - from my friends at sixth form. I remember how one of my friends had actually walked in late cause of work and announced this was my surprise, and then demanded I act surprised - a surprise party, the first one I've ever had thrown for me. - my first iPod from my uncle - my beats from my boo - which wasn't even the best one cause my favourite gift from him is in fact a coffee that he got for me - a cook book - cause my friend works at a bookshop and knows I like to make a mess in the kitchen. These are a few and they are all lovely gifts, not this crap I've been hearing recently about "OMG HE GOT ME THE *insert a brand that seems to be in the trend at the moment* BLAH BLAH BLAH" I was gonna name a designer. But I don't plug unless I have. And have, I do not. The simple fact is that these aren't gift. It's a half arsed attempt at keeping you happy rather than making you happy. And trust me there is a big difference. But like I was saying I've seemed to have lost my touch. In the past few years there were only a few hit gifts I've got for people. Apart from that it's been... "Why didn't you get me next seasons?" or "This isn't the actual one I wanted" or "Oh... Yeah I'll wear it all the time promise"

Yeah fucking right. Argh I just want to punch people when they get like this. You people think I ACTUALLY want to spend my money on shit you don't like? Why can't you just be polite and appreciate the fucking effort that I've gone too? FUCK. Well for this reason I want to give up all reasons to give and / or recieve presents. You don't understand how it makes my blood boil. All the anger has come flooding back. And I want to go back and throw things at these people.

A fiver each. Pretty BOOM.

Red glitter nails. My personal fave.

So. Basically. A blood red base. Then glitter coat. Then LOTS of clear. The clear makes or breaks this.

Well I think so. But then again I feel clear nail varnish can make or break ANY nail design.

The passive aggressive tweet.

I've fallen into this trap. And I've changed my ways now. Mostly because when I spoke to a friend about this.



"I always take that stuff personally. Even if it probably nothing to do with me."





I found the biggest problem. And this problem is the kind of thing anyone could overlook. Which is why I believe it to be the biggest problem. It's deceptively troublesome.

When one types such a status, tweet or broadcast message (yeah I know about these, I was on BBM for a short while - never again though!) we always seem to focus only on
- the person at which this is aimed
- maybe including another friend or mutual enemy via the "inside joke"
- making it witty

For me you get more points for
- making your own rhyme
- using song lyrics
- metaphor
- (and by far my favourite) analogies.

But here lies the problem. You are so engrossed in this task that you forget these points.

A. There are a lot of OTHERS who are part of your social network.

B. These OTHERS are still people.

C. These people are by default CRAP. And more than likely to have done something similar to whatever you are complaining about OR they are guilty of the thing that you are complaining about. If it's a generic complaint - like I found in my case - it can be a problem more widespread than you think.

"Sisters before misters..."

My phrase of choice. A bad one? No. I don't think so.

I thought wrong.

This was applicable to a wide array of people at the time I posted this. However. I didn't realise this. It was a comment on a friend's dilemma, such a situation with someone who wasn't anyone of particular importance to me.

However. Someone whom I'd previously fallen out with - well not so much fell out as drifted apart - saw this and some others and thought that they were about her.

They weren't but I can see why she'd think that. But you know what I can't do anything about it now.

Apart from this. NO MORE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE. I need to stop with this stupidness and I advise all others to do the same.