About Me

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LDN, United Kingdom
I am Shaz. It's hard work. But someone's gotta do it. I am a part time freak and full time retard. I also do some casual work as a skank and I volunteer as your mother. NICE TO MEET YOU! Welcome to the biggest rant factory in the history of the internet. I've got more apathy than the entire emo population of the world combined. Only kidding. I'm real nice

Saturday, 27 November 2010

Come to mama!

Today is a special day as today is my iPhone's birthday. This little bad boy needs a name. And I think I may have the perfect one. He picks me up when I am down. Via the most inane means. He shall be hence forth be called Mini Pras.

Love from Saalene and Mini Pras xxx

Saturday, 20 November 2010

Am I just being silly....

Or have any of you met a memorable tramp? You must have! I remember this one guy in Portsmouth, he'd sit under this bridge where EVERYONE would pass him on their way home from sort of either epic or pathetic night out (I've grown a passionate hatred for the phenomenon that it "clubbing", unless we're impersonating cavemen then I'm not interested..)

So yeah he'd sit in the same spot most nights, with his dog and play his guitar, singing songs that to put it simply were great crowd pleasers. One time on my way home I saw him. And he'd begun singing Oasis' Don't Look Back In Anger. Now how can one resist.

I do vaguely remember standing, crowding round him like he was some kind of social fire singing and basking in the warmth of a common passion for singing this song at some ungodly hour in the freezing cold.

He is one of my memorable tramps.

There is just one more. This one guy who came up to me at Liverpool Street station and tried to sell me a lighter.

First reason I thought this guy was funny was he was selling these lighters at an extortionate price.. 2 pounds. As far as I'm concerned it's 6 for a pound from Poundland. OR in an absolute emergency no more than a pound. But this did make me laugh cause he was clearly out here for a profit.

He was also there for the hard sell. Well you'd have to be right? He's walked into a crowd of smokers and come and asked the one person NOT smoking - I was buying a coffee. Then when I told him I didn't need one he proceeded to tell me why it's always good to have a back up and so on.

He's my second favourite memorable tramp because he is actively doing something to get himself out his dire situation.

Also. Whilst on this topic have you ever had the sneaky Big Issue guys try and pull a fast one on you? The first time I thought it may be a geniunely unfortunate circumstance, the guy comes up to you and he says "Big iiiiiiiiissue"

I think. I'll buy one. Why not. I always think I should but never have change. So I gave this guy two pounds. He then asks me if I don't mind giving him back the copy I just purchased


Because he only has the one copy. I, to this day am not sure how I feel about this. But out of the kindness of my heart I let him keep his one copy. However now I avoid Big Issue sellers due to the nature of thie aforementioned event.

Thursday, 18 November 2010


I know I myself complain an awful lot but seriously. Sometimes it gets to the point where you think to yourself "WHY WON'T YOU SHUT UP?!"

We've all got THAT friend. Who's the whiniest bastard on the face of the planet. And these guys have no taboo subjects in their EPIC complaints department.

- the weather
- public transport
- lack of money / love interest / luck
- body image
- food they get and failing that being hungry
- other peoples complaints

The worst thing is that list really could go on.

And before I go on let me also add that I myself complain an awful lot. But never to the extent where you'll wanna shoot me in the head! You see I do it in a loveable old lady kinda way!

But I do seriously wonder if I should post this as I'm pretty sure there WILL be much ranting to come.