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LDN, United Kingdom
I am Shaz. It's hard work. But someone's gotta do it. I am a part time freak and full time retard. I also do some casual work as a skank and I volunteer as your mother. NICE TO MEET YOU! Welcome to the biggest rant factory in the history of the internet. I've got more apathy than the entire emo population of the world combined. Only kidding. I'm real nice

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Avoiding CRAAAAAAAAAAZY bitches. Lesson 1.

If she has a catchphrase don't trust her. Unless it's genuine or genuinely funny. Examples are as follow. 






"Don't judge me"
Bitch please you're the one who's more likely to go around judging people.


"Oh you're wearing so much make up, I don't wear make up I don't need any. I'm au naturel."


So much so that you don't shave your legs or straighten / curl / colour / intricately weave, put up or do anything with your hair, shape them caterpillars above your eyes and so on. Oh wait you do? THEN WHY HATE ON SOMEONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR APPEARANCE? I mean it's not like I don't disagree with some aspects of personal hygiene or presentation as you may well know but you won't catch me putting someone down to make myself feel better.
(The above statement goes with the exception of the following: someone I have witnessed doing the above, someone I've had a previous grievance with, someone who has "brought it" so to say regarding my own looks)






"I only have GUY mates"
Emphasis on the "GUY" part by the way cause they REALLY wanna drive that point home. These are the spastic girls who are so adamant that they are one of the "guys" that they simply cannot fathom the idea of having friends who have ovaries. Truth is they aren't one of the guys at all. Trust me I know. I have two brothers. Three male cousins. And a few close male friends. Boys are a different species as much as I think I understand male human beings I don't because it's impossible to. And there is no way on Earth these crazy hoes can spend ALL their time with guys. I've done it before. They do your head in after a while. And are for the most part so vulgar that it rubs off on you and you end up talking the same shit they would.


Besides those who claim to are usually covering for the following


a) they are such bitches women no longer want to associate with them


b) they like to think all of their guy mates are "in love" with them, and to further this they'll be a doormat
/ shamelessly shameful flirt / whooooooooooore.






"I'm doing me"
Masturbating were you?
This and any other Drake lyrics for that matter especially that YOLO bullshite.



"People just don't get me"
Too fucking right. You are most likely the most erractic kind of spastic they find on the planet.

"I'm in love ... I kissed his best friend ... I don't want a boyfriend ...


That guys looking at me ... I'll be back in 5 mins I'm just gonna throw myself at him and see what happens ...


LOOK AT ME I'M SUCH A PIMP ... 


Why does everyone think I'm a whore ... I think I have an STD ... I think I'm pregnant ... I'm gonna cry for about a week now. 


... Do you think that guy over there's single? He's totally into me. He LOOKED at me ... 


He said "Sorry" when I knocked over all his stuff ... 


He wants me to be his wifey. Right? Totally ... 


I wanna marry him. 


WHY WON'T HE TALK TO ME?! 


I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING HIS TWEETS, COMMENTING ON ALL HIS PICTURES ON FACEBOOK, WAITING FOR HIM WHEN HE FINISHES WORK / UNI / GYM / PEEING. WHY DOESN'T HE LOVE ME?"


HOW THE FUCK IS ANYONE SUPPOSED TO "UNDERSTAND" YOU YOU CRAZY BITCH.






" I'm happy single"


Say it once if you please say it at least once a week and we'll have problems. You going on and on about how happy you are being SINGLE, ALONE, DOING MY OWN THING and so on makes me think you're about to snap and sink to new levels of desperation that have yet to be witnessed by mankind.




I've gotta stop now. I feel bad for doing this instead of essaying. Hahaha.

1 comment:

Chi-Chi said...

' "I'm doing me" - Masturbating were you?'

LMFAO!!!!!!!! that is just too funny!

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