Well it's been one of them days. I shouldn't be doing this but I am. It's in my nature to be stupid like this. And panic. Well. I only panic sometimes. When it's not really needed.
I feel like a pot. Full of memories. But when I say that I don't mean in a "Ah I remember that. Oh how I miss it."
It's stupid stuff aswell.
Like just now. I texted a certain man. A sexy man let's say. And he said something, which although he didn't mean in anyway, that made me think of a time when I got hurt. Real bad. With words.
First crush. I'm not gonna say love. That's too dramatic. It wasn't love. It was a really bad crush.
And he told me that he didn't like me anymore because I'm fat. I wanted him to die. I think a little part of me still does. Not so much for the actual line. But more for how absolutely shit he made me feel.
Oh that was a real memory. I felt in my stomach the exact feeling. But worse than that, the fear of it happening again.
But it didn't.
On to other stuff. Recently I've been thinking about Karma. And Sod's Law. Because I'm adamant they're linked.
Karma. I do good. Good happens to me. Simple enough right?
Sod's Law. I see something. Or feel something. Anticipating what will happen. Whether a plan will work. Or an idea will become a reality. I think good and hard. I like the details. I like the feel of the whole thing. THEN. It stops. Dead in the water.
Which takes the piss out of my life. To be quite frank.
And that's the story of my life so far. I'll let you know if it changes.
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net