End of an era my left foot.

As I may have told you before I hate uni, the past three years have been a seemingly necessary torture. I mean it's the same old, same old. Go to school. Go to college. Go to uni. Get a job.

I hated my first experience of uni so much I had one exam to resit in the summer and I just walked into the head of department's office and told him I didn't want to carry on with this.

I hated my course because it was mind numbingly boring and made you realise a lot of people just do these things for the title. I'd originally applied to do therapeutic radiography which I thought would be something I'd love to learn about and love to do after. However I went in for an interview and they told me my grades are more suited to Pharmacy. Not myself as a person but my grades.

This is my first problem. The world isn't as black and white as I like to think it is. It's all grey. Many many shades of bland and blah. There's no telling what amount of mixing and mingling of hot white flashes of fun an fancy and black pits of misery you mix together to get your shade.

Anyway a year after leaving higher education I decided to go back to uni. Well I sort of wanted to but had lovely friends who forced me to call up during clearing.

I applied for Creative Writing and didn't get in because my portfolio was, admittedly, horseshit and then got offered a place to do lit.

I don't mind English Literature. Some parts I really enjoy and some parts I absolutely loathe. It's very demanding, you have to have a broad knowledge of a whole lotta stuff. And I don't. But I'm getting there.

I don't read like I used to. I just don't. I no longer find the pleasure I used to find in books. I can't ever relax and read. I'm always too fidgety and too all over the place to even read a page.

Why did I go for it? Well I thought I need a degree not to get bogged down in a shit job. Instead I am on the verge of finishing my degree. I have 5 years continuous experience. But neither means a thing.

It doesn't matter. Why do I keep telling people that experience is essential? It's nothing. I feel like I've been over looked all these years, understandably being part time but now I am soon to become overqualified for a job that isn't right for me. But what job is?

What's a girl to do?